Tag: learning from your mistakes

How to Overcome a Negative Mindset

Our minds have the tendency of thinking negatively. This is because our brains are built on survival mode. In order for us to live, our minds make conclusions based upon our experiences. Some of these conclusions are positive, such as eating food as a means of surviving. Others are negative, such as the avoidance of touching fire to prevent burns.

Our negative mindsets can be based upon conclusions that we’ve generated over several experiences. It might even just take one negative experience to create a negative perspective. But with practice, you can catch which negative ideas are actually causing you more harm than good.

Let’s say you’ve had an encounter with the opposite gender in school. You had a crush, and you decided to confess your feelings to this one person. Instead of receiving what you perceive to be a good response (acceptance), you are quickly rejected and humiliated. This experience make “scar you” for life and prevent you from seeking our romantic interests.

However, what if you could change that thought into a positive experience? What if you could perceive rejection as good, as it allows you to disassociate yourself from people who are not interested and give you a chance to move on to someone else? Of course, being rejected by your crush may not be a good feeling, but it allows you to move on and try with someone else. It removes all the ambiguity of does he/she like me or not.

The people who are greatest at overcoming negative mindsets are the ones who allow the negativity to come into their life and go just as easily. They are people who try to look at the brighter side of things. Or, they develop positive coping skills that allow them to move on from negativity. Some people go a step further by examining those negative events and learning from those experiences.

What do you do when you experience negativity? Do you wallow in it, or do you learn from it, look for the positive, and move on from it?

Coping with Loss

We all deal differently with coping loss. And, there are many different losses that we can experience during our lifetime. We will all at  some point or another deal with the loss of a loved one (friend or family). Some of us experience financial loss, job loss, or the loss of a home. We may face a loss of a beloved dog or cat, or we might face a loss in identity when we learn new ideas or beliefs.

It is okay to cry and let your feelings out rather than letting it bottle up and result in a chaotic episode of anger or sadness. Sometimes, we need a good cry. Other times, we just need someone to lean on and to have listen to us. Others prefer to not talk about the situation and to just move on with their life.

I’m sure a lot of people are curious about this third group of people, how they can get over loss so quickly. The answer is that it is dependent on your mindset. If you can accept that loss occurs and that there is nothing we can do about it, then you have succeeded in the first step of radical acceptance. With radical acceptance, you are aware of your current reality without subjecting to harmful or negative behaviors. Rather, you learn to accept where you are and to move on with that knowledge you’ve gained from that event which you perceived to be negative.

With the loss of loved ones, you can reframe your mind to believing that they are in a safe place. When it is your time to go, you may reunite with them on the next plane or stage of life. Others may feel as if these loved ones are protecting them and taking care of them as angels. Or, they imagine that this person would like for them to live a fulfilling life rather than dwelling in sadness. This all depends on your spiritual or religious beliefs, but all of these beliefs believe in something more than just our current life with your continuous stream of consciousness. When you can accept this kind of reality, you are able to cope with the loss of a loved one faster.

A financial loss (or materialistic loss) can be devastating for those who worked hard to reach a certain level of income and independence from the working system, especially for those who trade hours for dollars. You can learn to take it as a lesson by seeing when and where the loss occurred. Learn from your mistakes quickly, and build up wealth again by investing in different areas or pursuing multiple streams of income. Read financial books. Turn the lesson into a blessing, not dwelling on what we cannot fix but rather what we can do next to prosper and flourish. This is the mindset of an entrepreneur, and it is a useful way for not getting so attached to materialism, but to grow from it.

Sometimes, we experience a loss in identity. This can be due to changes we experience in our lifetime. Sometimes, it’s because we seek newer more fulfilling friendships (or relationships), or because we are seeking for adventure versus the daily 9-5 grind. Sometimes, it’s due to wanting to try out a new career. If this is you, you can dive into growth and happiness just by pursuing activities you’d love to try (such as Zumba or learning how to play the piano).

Some people are not able to cope with loss just as quickly. But if you are a conscious being, you can learn how to cope with loss more efficiently. You can learn how to master your mindset, to learn the lessons, and to move on. but even if you need to get a good cry out or express your anger, try to do so constructively and to not let your circumstances dictate your mood. You are worthy of happiness and love. <3