Tag: how to remove limiting beliefs

How to Handle Negative Thoughts

Our minds tend to get stuck in the past, forming negativity thoughts or beliefs based upon our experiences. When we get stuck in negativity, we hold ourselves back and hinder our progress. We avoid engaging in certain activities that may be beneficial for us or that may help us to grow as human beings.

The reason our minds come up with negative ideas is for the sake of survival. However, nowadays with technological advancement, we are fortunate enough to not have to succumb to our own survival. We depend on each other for the sake of survival. For example, we have supermarkets that we can go to in order to buy food. We have government programs such as food stamps for people who are unable to make a livelihood based on their physical and mental wellness.

When our minds come up with a negative thought or concludes a negative belief, it can hold us back from truly enjoying life. It does not even have to seem so negative, yet it can hinder our progress. For example, if you as a kid rarely spoke up, you might have been classified as being shy. If enough people tell you that you are shy or you get used to not speaking up, you bring truth to that label. But once you realize that there are other possible truths (e.g. maybe you were not shy but observant and trying to take information in, or maybe you didn’t speak much back then but now you have more things to say), then you begin to realize that anything could be a possibility, and it should leave you feeling empowered in progressing with life or changing your behaviors.

When we have negative thoughts, there are a few different approaches you can take. The first is to drown in that negative thought and allow it to hinder us. The second is to ignore the thought and to just do whatever you want in spite of that negative thought. The third is to examine that thought and see where it is coming from, realizing that it doesn’t have to be that way, and accepting a more empowering thought.

Going with the negative thought

Let’s examine the first mode of thinking, giving into the negative thought. When you give into the negative thought, you may be tempted to practice maladaptive behaviors that only serve to destruct you and others around you. Or, you arouse feelings that sink you into that negative thought bubble, seeping more into anger, resentment, guilt, or depression. You get stuck in a rut.

Sometimes, we need to give into the negative thoughts as a way to process our feelings and emotions. For example, if someone passes away, you may miss them and cry your heart out. Doing that is okay, because we sometimes feel the need to express our sadness just as much as we may feel the need to express our joy. It’s okay to sink low sometimes and to feel a certain way.

What’s tricky is that we must not let that negativity sit with us for long periods of time. For example, just because you fail one exam at school, does not mean that you’re going to fail the next one. It could just mean that you have to modify your study habits so that you can pass the next exam. Just because you make a mistake once doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to making the same mistake a second time. And even if you fail or make a mistake several times, that doesn’t mean that you are not learning. You are, and it’s just a matter of time before you succeed or make that great leap in progress.

Ignoring the thought and moving on

Ignoring the negative thought takes more willpower than just going with the thought. It requires you to consciously decide that you will be positive no matter what. There is an upside and a downside to this method. The first good thing about this is that you can always challenge your thoughts and decide for yourself that you will do something positive instead. The downside is that it does require some willpower and conscious thinking or acting in order to combat that thought. You will feel some sort of resistance. Plus, there’s only so many things that we can be conscious about at a single moment. It requires you to zone out and to just tune into your senses, living in the present moment.

This method is mostly useful when you are out and about, not able to fully focus on the negative thought and figure out where it is stemming from. For example, if someone says something off-putting or seemingly offensive to you, you may choose to ignore it at the moment and to just head off your way, focusing on what you are doing. You don’t have to process it at the moment. You can process it later when you’re alone. But, you don’t have to take in something negative that someone else says about you. You can decide for yourself about who you are.

I used this method as a way to cope with cyberbullying. There have been a few times when someone left hateful comments on my videos, whether it is racist or just plain rude. But rather than taking that negativity in, I either delete those hateful comments and block them, or I just altogether ignore those people and just move on with my life. Those people don’t know me, and I don’t know them. But rather than stooping down to their level of rudeness, I choose to live my life in a positive manner. It is a conscious approach that I make an effort towards every single day.

Examining where those thoughts arise

Our minds come up with all sorts of ideas, both negative and positive. When we don’t receive what we want, our minds try to justify it and come up with ideas as to why you aren’t getting what you desire. But sometimes, those thoughts are rooted in fear. As I mentioned earlier, our brains have been developed that way for the sake of survival, especially when we needed it most in past times. But, we do not have to accept those thoughts and live in a fear-based mindset.

As a child, you may have a parent who seemed busy all the time and could barely spend time with you. They may have been living paycheck to paycheck. But as a child, maybe you didn’t understand that they were stressed out and busy all the time in order to make a decent living. Maybe to you, it meant that you were not important. But there are many other possibilities as to why they behaved the way they did. To you, it may have seemed true that you were not important. But another possible truth is that maybe you were important and they’re way of expressing care was to make money in order to supply your basic needs. Maybe you were not important to them at the moment, but later you became important to them. Or maybe you were always important, but they just could not find the proper time to express their love to you.

When you are able to reflect back on the past and see where those thoughts arise, we can see that there are many possible truths. Most likely, you didn’t see the words “I’m not important” written on the walls or even spoken. There was no color or shape to it. It’s just a thought. So rather than giving into the negative thoughts, why not focus on the positive and live in a more empowering way? For example, you could replace those negative thoughts with, “I am important. I am worthy. I am deserving of love. I have a lot to offer this world. And, I am a positive influence on other people.”

Negative feelings or emotions

Another thing is that you might not hear the negative thought, but you might feel a negative way. If you look back to the event, you can realize that it was just an event, serving no negative feeling at all. The negative feeling is just a feeling. And as with every feeling, it is fleeting, and it is able to be changed. A person can’t make you feel anything. It is your body, and your body naturally responds to events. But rather than sinking into negative emotions or feelings, we can arise and feel empowered. We can see that those seemingly negative events doesn’t happen anymore, and we can feel happy about it. We can tune into more of our positive and empowering feelings.

I would like to argue that no one can make you feel anything except for yourself. You are in control of your body. And even if you have natural reactions to things (your instinct), you can realize that those feelings were just feelings in the moment. Your feelings don’t have to be the way they are. You can change them with practice. And also, just because you used to be nervous about certain things (e.g. public speaking), doesn’t mean that you can’t ever stand in front of an audience and speak. The nervousness is just a response triggered by an event, and if you can see that the event had no initial meaning behind it, then you can understand that you can exist in another state of being.

All in all, having negative thoughts is normal. But, we don’t have to succumb to those negative ideas forever. We can consciously pick them out and reframe our minds into a more positive state of being. We can live confidently and happily in this world with just a little effort. What empowering thoughts or feelings would you like to live up to?

How to Change Our Negative Thoughts

The majority of us suffer internally through our minds. It happens naturally because our minds are designed to form conclusions based upon our experiences. When we experience what we perceive to be a negative outcome repeatedly, we tend to form negative beliefs about ourselves or the world around us in order to avoid those seemingly negative events. The problem is that if you continue to build up these negative beliefs, eventually you become stuck in a comfort zone that is hard to get out of. Your mind entraps you, and you become a slave to your beliefs. Rather than enjoying life as it is with the ups and the downs, you succumb to mediocrity.

Beliefs are nothing more than thoughts that we repeatedly tell ours, which we perceive to be true perceptions upon our reality. We navigate the world based upon our beliefs of how the world works and what we mean to it. If you form negative beliefs, it hinders your progress as a human being. It means that you may avoid doing certain tasks in order to live in a safe bubble.

How can we change our beliefs?

The first step to changing our beliefs is to examine them and to know that they are there. Sometimes, the negative scripts can be the most challenging ones to find. They are masked in our everyday actions. We naturally respond or react to events based on what we believe. So for example, if you define yourself as a person who cannot tolerate the cold during winter, you may bundle up or choose not to go outside. Rather than getting used to the cold and enjoying it for what it is, you perceive it to be negative, thus something that you avoid. If you can wrap your head around the cold being a refreshing feeling and maybe get used to the idea of running in the cold in order to raise your body temperature, you have shifted to a higher level of thinking through positivity. At the same time, you don’t want to go as far as doing something reckless, such as walking naked out in the cold. You can still be level-headed while leaning into a new perspective of finding ways to enjoy the cold (e.g. playing with the snow on cold snowy winter days).

When we form negative beliefs of people based on previous relationships we’ve experienced, we limit ourselves to the type of people we’d like to surround ourselves with. At the same time, you want to be careful about what those relationships meant to you. If you’re only way of determining your self worth is based on what a few people think of you (e.g. your family), then you become a slave to their thoughts and ideas. Why live that way when you can enjoy life on your own terms? We don’t have to give in to the negative self talk, such as “I don’t deserve love” or “I am worthless”. You can change your perception to being that now, you are in charge of your mind, and that you do deserve to be loved. You can shift it to being that you do care about other people, and other people would care about you once they get to know you. You can understand that love comes in many different forms, and although your parents or siblings did not know how to express it well, you know that deep down inside they care and they just want you to be happy.

Those childhood events may have shaped you and became your identity, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You get to decide who it is that you are. When we are young, people try to assign meaning to our life by figuring it out through how we act. But the truth is when you were a baby, you did not have all these meanings and connections of your identity at all. You were just living, breathing, pooping, taking it a day at a time. And through your five senses, you learned how the world works. There are some inescapable and mysterious ways of how the world works and that people have tried to figure out, such as the laws of gravitational pull and force. But then, there are meanings which we assign ourselves based off of what others say about us or how we perceive ourselves to be. If we didn’t talk much as a child, people might perceive us to be shy, and then we hold onto that mentality of “I’m shy”, avoiding confrontation in order to be aligned with that thought. However once you break out of that mold and realize that perhaps you were not shy but observant, you begin to form a new world of possibilities, where maybe you decide that you will be more outgoing and outspoken.

Replacing the negative belief with positive affirmations

If you are unsatisfied with your appearance, you might have the belief of “I’m ugly”. This is based off of the appearances that we are used to seeing in the media or on the streets. When we compare ourselves to other people through our appearances, we succumb to the ideology of believing that we do not look good. We spend our time trying to groom ourselves to look better. There is nothing wrong with taking some time and effort to enhance our appearance. However to the extreme, we might give in to methods such as plastic surgery in order to be satisfied with our appearance. Again, it is everyone’s choice what they may do to their bodies, but it can be damaging over time to be super focused on appearance rather than personality. And, it can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and self-worth.

Rather than thinking that you are ugly, you can acknowledge times that you’ve felt pretty with your natural appearance, or you can find traits about your appearance that you admire (e.g. kind eyes, good smile, nice head of hair, etc.). You can take a good look of yourself in the mirror and gently admire those good traits that you do have. And, you can admire that you are unique and different from those around you or on television. Replace “I’m ugly” with “I am beautiful” or “I am loved”. Acknowledge how you look, and learn how to be satisfied with what you’ve got. Of course, if you want to apply makeup to enhance your features, go right ahead. But don’t try to just mask your appearance by caking on layers of foundation. Try instead to solve any glaring problems if it is in your control. For example, no one likes acne. But rather than calling yourself ugly for having acne, you can realize that it is a health indicator that something needs to change. Perhaps you can get a skin treatment from a trusted dermatologist, you can drink more water on a daily basis, or you can get into a face care routine.

If you are feeling worthless because your parents used to ignore your cries for help, realize that it doesn’t have to be the case that you were worthless. It could mean that your parents just did not know what to do to make you feel better. They might have ignored you because they were busy working or were stressed out. They might have not known how to handle such a responsibility of taking care of you. Just because they treated you a certain way, does not mean that you are worthless. It could mean that you deserved love, but they did not know that attention was what you were seeking. And now that you’re older, you can turn to yourself for love and admiration. You might even be able to attract a partner who would love spending time with you. All you have to do is tune into the stream of consciousness of self-love. (;

You have to also realize that these negative thoughts are just what they are, thoughts. They are just ideas formed by your mind. You can point our a color or a shape for these thoughts. You did not “see” these thoughts. You experienced some events, and there were not inherent meanings behind those events. Can you point out when someone said that you were worthless? And even if someone said something like that, does it have to necessarily be true? Sometimes, the ones we love that are closest to us hurt us through their words. But can you see that their words are just words, not meaning anything inherently about yourself?

How should I feel once I remove several limiting beliefs?

After you finish removing several negative beliefs about yourself, you will feel as if you can conquer the world. You can do anything that you put your mind to. It is about having all your power back. You are the owner of not only your mind, but your body. Your bodily presence can be made known, or it can hide behind the rest of society and how they think. But, you don’t have to feel as if you are alone. You will feel as if you are connected with the rest of the world in a positive way once you’ve successfully demolished all the negative beliefs or negative self-talk that you catch yourself doing. And, you will reach a new state of enlightenment, the idea that the world is not so scary as it once seemed to be.

How to Overcome Self-Hatred

Self-hatred usually stems from earlier experiences had as a child. If you experience self-hatred, it could mean that you have unresolved feelings or terrible memories from your past. If you allow those thoughts to linger and to continue on, you will form beliefs of self-hatred, and it will affect your everyday living.

Where did this idea of self-hatred come from?

If you were neglected as a child, you may feel as if you are unworthy of love or attention at such a young age. The reason may be due to how your parents treat you. You give meaning to the events of your parents treating you a certain way just because you are unworthy of love. However, that conclusion that you made in your mind is only one perception. That is to say, there are other more empowering beliefs or thoughts that can shift your experience.

How do you overcome self-hatred?

Let’s say every time you cried, your parents ignored you and move on to doing something else. It could mean that they cared about you, but that they didn’t know how to respond to your cry. It could mean that there was a gap in understanding each other since you did not know your parent’s native language. It could mean that just because they ignored you as a child doesn’t mean that other parents would react the same way. There are many different conclusions that you could come up with.

If you can draw up these different ideas of where self-hatred comes from, you can paint a new picture. You can reframe those thoughts to more empowering ones such as your parents did care, but they were busy taking care of other daily obligations such as housework or their job. And maybe at the time, you couldn’t do much for yourself or communicate with them, but later you could.

Letting go of this idea of self-hatred is not easy, but it is quite simple. What makes you different from anyone else? Why are you the only one who does not deserve to be loved? Can you see how you are just victimizing yourself to a point of self-destruction?

When you accept the past for what it was, that’s when you’re ready to move onto the stage of self-love. It does not mean that you deserved to be hurt or punished at that time during your childhood, but it could mean that you had enough strength to move on to the next stage of your life. It could just mean that as a child, you came up with a conclusion that hurt you, and that it’s time to change that idea.

 

Worthiness

Where does our idea of worthiness come from?

Your brain has a way of concluding thoughts or ideas based around your experiences. Part of it is due to survival instincts. Back in time, before supermarkets and residential housing existed, our brains perceived some events to be fearful or negative as a way to protect ourselves. But in the modern age, we are less prone to danger. Despite us knowing consciously that we are safe, our brains may form different conclusions that stem from our past experiences or mostly during childhood. When we are children, we are quick to form beliefs and ideas based on how we were raised.

Most of our ideas surrounding worthiness usually for the most part begin from our childhood. We look up to our parents and guardians, and we feel that anything they do means something good or bad about ourselves. Our parents or guardians are our gateway for learning about the world. Some parents absentmindedly raise their children to be fearful, which can affect them in much later years if not treated right away. The earlier we catch our limiting beliefs about life, the more you set yourself up for success.

Let me share with you an example of how this works. If you as a child used to cry for attention only to have your parents ignore you or beat you several times, you may feel unloved or not deserving of happiness or love. However, that is just one conclusion of many. As a child, you may conclude that you don’t deserve to be happy. But if you look at those events, you will see that there was no meaning of unworthiness there. Your parents may have treated you poorly, but that does not mean that there are other parents out there who would have given you the attention and love that you deserved. Or if a past teacher of yours was there, they may have stopped your parents from treating you poorly. And just because you were treated poorly once, does not mean that you can’t enjoy your life. It could just mean that your parents were stressed and they did not know what they were doing. But, you can own your power back and say that you are deserving of love and that some people in your life do care about you and treat you well. Perhaps if you searched for other friends or mentors and told them about how your parents treated you, they would stand up for you and say that you are worthy of love.

Unworthiness does not have a color or shape. It is just an idea. And where did that idea come from? It came from your mind. Before you had these events occur, you were just you. You had no preconceived notions or thoughts. There was no sign or paper that stated you were unworthy in that moment. All you experienced were events. Your parents might not have known a better way to take care of you. They might have been treated similarly when they were younger. You can reclaim your power by understanding how the mind works in this way.

Am I worthy of love?

Your mind can make up any conclusion of repetitive thoughts. Why set yourself up for failure when you can change your mindset and have it work in your favor? Instead of feeling as if you are unworthy, you can reframe your thoughts to be more loving and more in alignment with self-care. You can become your own best friend.

Worthiness is a concept that our mind creates. What makes you and everyone else different? It is our experiences. If someone else were in those shoes, they may have made the same decisions, saying that they are unworthy of love based on how their parents treated them. But just because you are treated one way, does not mean that you can never be treated another way. This is how you can open your mind and look at events from different perspectives. And of course, the best approach is to adopt the best mindset. Whatever is good is what you accept. Whatever is negative can linger in the background.

In my opinion, everyone is deserving of love. Sometimes, this can be a hard idea to grasp, due to us blaming people from our past. So long as you make an effort to understand how your mind works and have it work in your favor, you’re good to go. (;

Battling Your Inner Demons

We all have or have had inner demons that we’ve been struggling with. No two people are exactly the same, but we may share similar demons. We may share similar pasts. We may all face various paths. The best part of facing your own demons is that you’re not the only one who has faced them. On some level and in different ways, we are all connected. So, there is no reason to feel empty or alone in those ways of thinking.

Rather than looking at it as if we are just battling ourselves, we can look at it as a fun challenge to conquer. We can look into our fears and look to see where those fears stem from. However, there is a tricky part about this. Some people have so many fears that they settle for a mediocre life and never truly understand how to overcome this mindset.

Our fears are rooted in old beliefs. These beliefs are based on repetitive thoughts. And when these thoughts are put on repeat, we get stuck in circular thinking. The only ways to break out of them is to either face the fear head-on, or figure out where this fear is coming from and learning how to reframe those imagined fears or thoughts.

We all have struggles that we have faced. Maybe they are not exactly the same events or relationships. However, you can learn a lot about yourself through other people and through your daily interactions. You can find where these insecurities are stemming from.

Some ways to express your inner demons is through writing such as through a journal or blog, songwriting, talking to a friend, or talking to a therapist. You can learn a lot about yourself through engaging in these positive coping skills. And, it can detract your mind from the negative.

You can learn how to face our inner demons alone if that is something you truly desire. Or, you can learn how to overcome your mindset through various activities that involve social interactions. You can also seek out therapy or help from others who have learned how to master their mindsets.

I am a huge fan of removing limiting beliefs because it helps you to feel alive, invincible, and as if you could accomplish anything you put your mind to. Some fear is a little bit necessary in order to make sure that you don’t fly off the handle and go crazy with all your emotions. But, you can learn how to better manage your thoughts and feelings by removing your limiting beliefs. It can help you to feel as if you can do anything good with your life. Removing a limiting belief takes practice, but if you work on it, it is possible to eliminate those negative beliefs.

Battling your own demons does not have to be a lonely process. Well, that is unless you prefer to work on yourself in your own time and at your own pace. For those who want quick changes, like I said, I’d focus on removing limiting beliefs or barriers that are dragging you down. Once you face yourself, you’ll reach a heightened sense of awareness and self-discovery.

How to Be Mentally Strong

When people think of the word “strength” or “strong”, they typically think of physical strength. They may think of a bodybuilder or someone athletic. Besides physical strength, there is mental strength. Mental strength takes practice for those who are not used to exercising their brain. But with enough practice and commitment, you can learn how to achieve large goals and dreams.

There are many times in our lives where mental strength is useful. If you own a car, would you break down if it stopped working for some odd reason, or would you quickly head over to a mechanic to see what’s wrong? If you’re in a toxic relationship, are you able to let that person go easily, or do you stay and hold bitter resentment towards that person?

Mental strength means having intelligence or good intuition in knowing if something is right or wrong for you. What we perceive to be right or wrong is based upon own beliefs. And inner strength is when you can examine all your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and beliefs, and still have your own unique identity. That identity was there for you once you were born, and it will follow on with you in this world and onto the next world. All we have to do is realize that we have always had that power. Once you realize this, you can reclaim your mind and use it as a resource, not letting it ruminate in the past and getting you stuck on old ideas or ways of thinking.

Some activities you may want to engage in involve using your brain in different ways. For example, you could play board games with friends (Scrabble and Jenga are my two favorites). You could also play the piano/keyboard or play any kind of sport such as basketball. Crossword puzzles or Sudoku are also intellectual games that stimulate your mind and give it more mental capacity/power.

You can also think of your mind as being the CPU (central processing unit) of your body. Your brain works hard for you every day, taking in not only your conscious thoughts, but all the subliminal or all the subconscious feelings and emotions. While it is processing many things, you can turn your attention to what is most important to you. And if you’re really good at controlling your mind, you will be able to get it to focus on what’s right in front of you rather than worrying about the past or future.

Every so often, we need to cleanse our minds. We need to hash out old drama or dirt, and we have to feed it with positivity and action-oriented growth. Those who choose not to redefine their minds often have trouble excelling and get stuck in old patterns that do not serve them. We have to learn how to make our minds our allies, not our enemies. Be friends with your brain, and watch how your life unfolds. Remember, you are the influencer, not the other way around.

How Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality

What are beliefs?

Beliefs are formed through repetitive thoughts that our brains have concluded. Some beliefs can be helpful, and other beliefs can be destructive. What I’ve found to be useful is to examine old destructive beliefs, reframe them, and live a more conscious and positive life through more empowering beliefs.

We can have all sorts of beliefs. Usually when we hear the word “belief”, we think of religion. Christians believe that Jesus died for their sins. Muslims worship Allah. But beyond religion, beliefs can be formed around topics such as money or love.

One belief that people working 9-5 might have is, “I can never make money without having a job.” This is an disempowering belief that forces people to just rely on active income (through a salary). However if these people were to examine where the thought came from, maybe from their childhood when their parents were struggling to make ends meet, they can eliminate the belief and start their own businesses if they wish to do so.

I used to stress out about money. But recently, I formed a more empowering belief and said to myself, “There are tons of ways to make passive income online! I might as well hop onto the online abundance train.” Even though I do not have much experience with passive income, I know that if others succeeded at doing it, so can I.

Try examining your core beliefs. Are they positive or negative? If they are negative, find out where those thoughts first stemmed from, usually from your childhood or from past traumas. Then, reevaluate those beliefs. For example, if you have been abused before in the past and feel like you are not important or like you are worthless, you can look back and think of other alternative thoughts. Perhaps you were abused in the past, but that does not mean that you don’t deserve happiness. It could mean that those people who were abusive were mentally ill and had no idea what they were doing. Or, it could mean that had someone been there, you would have not been abused. It could mean many things. But, it does not mean you are worthless. Everyone is worth of love.

You want to make sure that your core values stem from a place of positivity. You want to be optimistic about your life, not feeling like you spiraling down into doom and suffocation of life. Your life is yours to enjoy.