Tag: how to overcome negativity

How to Overcome a Negative Mindset

Our minds have the tendency of thinking negatively. This is because our brains are built on survival mode. In order for us to live, our minds make conclusions based upon our experiences. Some of these conclusions are positive, such as eating food as a means of surviving. Others are negative, such as the avoidance of touching fire to prevent burns.

Our negative mindsets can be based upon conclusions that we’ve generated over several experiences. It might even just take one negative experience to create a negative perspective. But with practice, you can catch which negative ideas are actually causing you more harm than good.

Let’s say you’ve had an encounter with the opposite gender in school. You had a crush, and you decided to confess your feelings to this one person. Instead of receiving what you perceive to be a good response (acceptance), you are quickly rejected and humiliated. This experience make “scar you” for life and prevent you from seeking our romantic interests.

However, what if you could change that thought into a positive experience? What if you could perceive rejection as good, as it allows you to disassociate yourself from people who are not interested and give you a chance to move on to someone else? Of course, being rejected by your crush may not be a good feeling, but it allows you to move on and try with someone else. It removes all the ambiguity of does he/she like me or not.

The people who are greatest at overcoming negative mindsets are the ones who allow the negativity to come into their life and go just as easily. They are people who try to look at the brighter side of things. Or, they develop positive coping skills that allow them to move on from negativity. Some people go a step further by examining those negative events and learning from those experiences.

What do you do when you experience negativity? Do you wallow in it, or do you learn from it, look for the positive, and move on from it?

How to Overcome Self-Hatred

Self-hatred usually stems from earlier experiences had as a child. If you experience self-hatred, it could mean that you have unresolved feelings or terrible memories from your past. If you allow those thoughts to linger and to continue on, you will form beliefs of self-hatred, and it will affect your everyday living.

Where did this idea of self-hatred come from?

If you were neglected as a child, you may feel as if you are unworthy of love or attention at such a young age. The reason may be due to how your parents treat you. You give meaning to the events of your parents treating you a certain way just because you are unworthy of love. However, that conclusion that you made in your mind is only one perception. That is to say, there are other more empowering beliefs or thoughts that can shift your experience.

How do you overcome self-hatred?

Let’s say every time you cried, your parents ignored you and move on to doing something else. It could mean that they cared about you, but that they didn’t know how to respond to your cry. It could mean that there was a gap in understanding each other since you did not know your parent’s native language. It could mean that just because they ignored you as a child doesn’t mean that other parents would react the same way. There are many different conclusions that you could come up with.

If you can draw up these different ideas of where self-hatred comes from, you can paint a new picture. You can reframe those thoughts to more empowering ones such as your parents did care, but they were busy taking care of other daily obligations such as housework or their job. And maybe at the time, you couldn’t do much for yourself or communicate with them, but later you could.

Letting go of this idea of self-hatred is not easy, but it is quite simple. What makes you different from anyone else? Why are you the only one who does not deserve to be loved? Can you see how you are just victimizing yourself to a point of self-destruction?

When you accept the past for what it was, that’s when you’re ready to move onto the stage of self-love. It does not mean that you deserved to be hurt or punished at that time during your childhood, but it could mean that you had enough strength to move on to the next stage of your life. It could just mean that as a child, you came up with a conclusion that hurt you, and that it’s time to change that idea.

 

How Your Beliefs Shape Your Reality

What are beliefs?

Beliefs are formed through repetitive thoughts that our brains have concluded. Some beliefs can be helpful, and other beliefs can be destructive. What I’ve found to be useful is to examine old destructive beliefs, reframe them, and live a more conscious and positive life through more empowering beliefs.

We can have all sorts of beliefs. Usually when we hear the word “belief”, we think of religion. Christians believe that Jesus died for their sins. Muslims worship Allah. But beyond religion, beliefs can be formed around topics such as money or love.

One belief that people working 9-5 might have is, “I can never make money without having a job.” This is an disempowering belief that forces people to just rely on active income (through a salary). However if these people were to examine where the thought came from, maybe from their childhood when their parents were struggling to make ends meet, they can eliminate the belief and start their own businesses if they wish to do so.

I used to stress out about money. But recently, I formed a more empowering belief and said to myself, “There are tons of ways to make passive income online! I might as well hop onto the online abundance train.” Even though I do not have much experience with passive income, I know that if others succeeded at doing it, so can I.

Try examining your core beliefs. Are they positive or negative? If they are negative, find out where those thoughts first stemmed from, usually from your childhood or from past traumas. Then, reevaluate those beliefs. For example, if you have been abused before in the past and feel like you are not important or like you are worthless, you can look back and think of other alternative thoughts. Perhaps you were abused in the past, but that does not mean that you don’t deserve happiness. It could mean that those people who were abusive were mentally ill and had no idea what they were doing. Or, it could mean that had someone been there, you would have not been abused. It could mean many things. But, it does not mean you are worthless. Everyone is worth of love.

You want to make sure that your core values stem from a place of positivity. You want to be optimistic about your life, not feeling like you spiraling down into doom and suffocation of life. Your life is yours to enjoy.