Category: Relationships

How to Trust People

Many times in life, we are faced with the difficult decision of whether we can trust somebody or not. Some people trust quite easily. Others are guarded and rarely trust others, securing themselves in an imagined box.

My rule is to build up trust in blocks. When you meet someone for the first time, it’s probably not a good idea to share your whole life story in one go. It’s best to get to know the person through small talk first.

Once you build a basic foundation of trust, such as the feeling of security around them and not feeling threatened in any way, you can delve into deeper levels of trust. But of course, you’ll want to start off with one layer at a time. Going too deep into conversations can feel unnatural. So start small, then build your way up.

If you connect with people who you feel comfortable having deeper conversations with, you will find it easier to trust them. You don’t have to go off sharing all sorts of secrets. But, you can maybe learn how to trust them with your own bottle of weirdness. You can learn how to be more of yourself around these people.

In return, you may receive many blessings. They might trust you with personal secrets, asking you for guidance on various topics. You may go to them to seek advice or help from time to time. It feels nice when you establish this level of trust.

When you reach this level of trust, you also want to make sure that you are contributing positively to the relationship, as to not let the other person feel burdened by how much you share with them. The other person can get overwhelmed if you for example share too many negative stories or unnecessary drama. Even I have had to wean off friendships due to hearing too much negativity. You want to make sure the exchange is balanced, not flying off the handle and leading to destruction.

You should be careful about how much you give to the person in terms of negative self talk. If you use trust as a way to express negativity, the friendship may settle and dissolve. It may not go anywhere good. So of course, you want to be mindful about what you share and what you contribute to the friendship.

When you trust someone deeply, you are more able to express your authentic self. You feel more alive in these types of relationships. It doesn’t take a toll on you. And, you can learn more about yourself through trusting others.

How easily do you trust people?

Judgment-Free Zone

Our minds have a way of concluding how people are and how they live based upon our own experiences. This happens because our minds like to predict outcomes and not to lie in ambiguity. In a way, we’d like to be able to read people’s minds and learn how to filter out our connections based on the kinds of interactions we’d love to have. However, if we are not careful, we can conclude the wrong things about people without giving them a chance to speak up for themselves.

Maintaining a judgment-free mindset requires you to be more patient with people and to give them a chance to interact with you. Just remember, even if you do have preconceived judgments about this person (based on their appearance or way they carry themselves), you can always change these thoughts later. It’s impossible to be free of judgments of others 100% of the time, but you sure can try your best to be judgment-free for majority of the time.

One way in which you can maintain a judgment-free mind is to give people an opportunity to introduce themselves. Engage in small talk and see where the conversation goes. Try to find some common ground of interests. Even the shyest of all people have something interesting to share about themselves if you just give them a chance.

Another way to express a judgment-free attitude is to take the lead and allow others to follow you. Even if someone is dealing with insecurities, you can lead how to accept those flaws and have them change through you. In a sense, you can be the one to inspire change in them.

Back when I was in uni, I used to work out in the gym there. My friends knew that I was attending gym classes or playing basketball there every so often. Soon, I found myself exercising with other friends who were struggling with being physically active. But because I was already hitting the gym, they tagged along with me and started being more active too. That is the leader approach in which way you can influence others to make positive lifestyle changes.

I also practice a vegan lifestyle. As a vegan, it is a bit challenging to find meals outside that are vegan-friendly. Some of my friends were inspired to try going vegan because of me sticking to my values. And others were curious as to what vegans eat. So before, I used to share vegan meals on my Instagram. That also helped me to connect with and find other vegans through the app. I do not judge others for what they eat, so long as they do not impose a non-vegan lifestyle upon me. And so far, I’ve found a good balance of this mindset, choosing not to dine with others if they make it clear that they cannot accept my vegan lifestyle.

I think the number one best way to maintain a judgment-free mindset is to really know yourself. Be confident in who you are, and never let insecurities get to you. Just try your best every single day and take care of your health, both physically and mentally. Understand that even if someone is living a lifestyle that is completely opposite from you, there is some lesson that you can learn from them. Or, you can always turn your attention away from that person and find friends that resonate more with you. The decision is up to you. But of course, you don’t have to jump to conclusions about that person or how they live their life, just because it is much different from yours.

Invest in Yourself

There are many ways to invest money. But, have you ever thought of all the ways in which you can invest in yourself? Especially nowadays with all the opportunities present for us, we can invest time, money, and effort into ourselves to produce awesome results. Those results are not merely just monetary gains, but personal growth gains. The more you invest in yourself, the better the outcomes.

Some people have limiting beliefs surrounding money. They believe that they must secure a job and spend money for their career or their minimal lifestyle only. Others drive themselves deep into debt and have trouble digging out of the hole they made for themselves. And despite all the misinformation of how to earn money, they still hold onto the false sense of security of having a steady paycheck.

Entrepreneurs are people who take calculated risks in order to gain financially. They also must learn how to provide value to others in order to receive something in return. Many entrepreneurs make the mistake of selling just for the sake of selling. You want to also make sure that whatever you provide is of value to the other person.

Beyond just selling yourself, your products, or your services, you have to learn how to build real relationships with people. You have to have a genuine interest in others. And most importantly, you have to investigate yourself and determine where your mindset is at.

You can learn how to grow through various activities such as meetups or heading to the gym. Going to the gym is not only good for your body, but for your mind as well. When we exercise, we release endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine into our brains, and it puts us in a higher state of being. What better way to invest in yourself than physical activity? You can engage in any sport or fun activity such as dance or Zumba.

When you engage in meetups, you take a chance of meeting new people who are like-minded and who are also investing in themselves. You get to hear inspiring stories and advice from people who are successful and who have a champion-like mindset. One meetup that I’m interested in trying out is Toastmasters. You get to practice your public speaking skills while also receiving some constructive feedback in return.

Investing in yourself could also mean delving into various books. You could purchase books from people who are masters of their own fields. For example, you can learn from people like Warren Buffett and Bill Gates to know how to set up your own stock portfolio or business. The great thing about books is that you have a constant reference to look back to. Plus, it’s not that expensive to gain some knowledge on how different areas of life can be improved. Additionally, you can learn the importance of some areas of life and how it applies a domino effect on other parts of your life.

You can also engage in different forms of accountability such as through a mastermind group. Masterminds take time to build up. But if you seek out the right connections with people, you should be able to create a mastermind of people working on similar goals.

Lastly, you can check out motivational content from your mentors. There are many mentors who have their own books, websites, or material in which you can learn from and flourish. You don’t have to start from scratch. You can start where you are and just learn from others how to succeed in any given field.

Let’s say you’re not interested in becoming an entrepreneur per se, but maybe you’re thinking about becoming a NASA rocket scientist. (; You can enroll in certain classes such as physics and astronomy. You can start as an intern and learn how the job works. Or, you can read many books based on the fields of astronomy and physics.

Investing in yourself means taking any opportunity when it is granted to you. For example, some opportunities for making passive income that I’ve been delving in include YouTube, blogging, and eBooks. These fields all excite me and motivate me to continue progressing in. Plus whenever I watch some others in the personal development field posting daily content, I am motivated to do the same. It’s a way to invest in myself as I process my thoughts, while additionally actively sharing with others.

What is one way you’ll start investing in yourself starting today? Comment down below to share your thoughts.

How to Overcome Your Past

We all have parts of our past that we wish we could forget. One thing you have to realize is that you are not alone, and there are ways to forget your past and move on.

The first thing you should make sure to do is examine your past and see if there is a lesson there that you could learn from. If you’re suffered from an abusive relationship, you could take it as a lesson to be wary of the types of people you meet and to surround yourself with good people who care and love you. You could also make it an opportunity for you to move out and become independent.

The second thing you should do is to realize that some people do not know what they are doing and are not as conscious as they should be. Some people are rude, ignorant, or selfish. That does not mean that we have to give into fear. Love yourself first and make sure to take care of your own wellbeing.

As for truly overcoming your past, you have to release the anchors that are keeping you stuck in the past. You have to focus on the present moment and look forward to your future moments.

I remember times when I was stuck in toxic relationships with people, such as when I allowed people to bully me when I was younger. However nowadays, I know how to fend for myself and do not allow others to trample all over me. When I am uncomfortable doing something, I do not engage in those activities. I take the higher route and look out for my wellbeing.

Often times when I just focus on the now and improve my current state of being, I find that I am more accepting of the past. I learn from my mistakes and move on.

For some people, it can be a struggle to move on from your past that quickly. But with practice, you can learn to let go and to let love guide you. You can start small by doing positive activities such as enrolling in a dance class or talking to a friend/therapist.

You’ll also want to note that the past is not you. Whatever happened, happened. That doesn’t mean anything less of you. It just means that you had some rocky obstacles, and you can always navigate back to positivity, to a more fulfilling life.

How to Forgive and Move On

Forgiveness can be a touchy subject for some. What is true forgiveness, and how do we know if we have truly forgiven a situation?

During the course of our lifetime, we may experience negative situations such as betrayal of trust, physical abuse, or bullying. These experiences are not pleasant at all and can lead to bitter resentment.

When we forgive someone, we have to put ourselves in that person’s shoes. Perhaps we would not have made the same mistakes as them, but we have to also realize that we do not know the other person that well either. They most likely have a host of insecurities of their own, and so they might be taking it out on you.

That being said, you don’t have to stand for negativity from others. You don’t have to stay stuck in a crappy situation. You can say, “No thanks” and move on. This is the way of forgiving and forgetting. You don’t seek revenge. Rather, you accept the situation, separate yourself from it, and move onto a better path.

It can take some time to get used to being on a better path. Part of it is that you have to let go. Surrender to a new reality. Or if you’re really feeling stuck, try journalling out your thoughts. Listen to some music that gets your feelings out.

If you’re having trouble forgiving someone close to you such as a friend or family member, you can maybe start off with writing a letter to them explaining why you are upset with them. Or, you can jot down notes and then later explain to them when you are ready. There is always a chance that they may not understand your viewpoint, but at least you will have tried. And if you feel as if the relationship is not going anywhere and is stagnant, it may be a sign that you just need to move on altogether. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, the earlier you leave a relationship that is no longer serving you, the quicker you will reach recovery.

You don’t have to leave on bitter terms either. You can gradually wean off from negative relationships, moving on to more positive or supporting connections. Most people catch on to nonverbal cues. And if not, you can simply tell them that you’ve been prioritizing time elsewhere.

For toxic relationships, you may have to be more blunt than you may want to. You have to be stern about your limitations and boundaries. And if someone disrespects you, you have every right to move on and forget that person. There are many people in the world who are selfish leeches. You don’t have to feel like you have to comply with all their requests. Remove the leeches and embrace a better reality for yourself. It may seem selfish, but that is what true forgiveness is like. Forgive, forget, and move on.


How to Trust Others

How do human beings learn to trust each other? They learn how to trust each other by getting to know one another and building up a good rapport. When you build up that trust, it sets up a good foundation for true relationships.

If you are the type of person who does not trust easily, you can start off with small blocks of trust. Trust that when you are friendly and say hello, it opens up another person to communicate with you and respond back.

Also, you can start with yourself. Do you trust yourself, or do you give into fear and lie in discomfort?

We may have trouble trusting or relating to other people due to our own inner demons and past traumas. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. With so many people living on this planet, there is bound to be another human being that understands you and who you can trust.

Some people put their trust on a higher being, such as God, Allah, Jesus, or Universe. You don’t have to practice spirituality if you are not comfortable with living that way. However, believing in a higher being can change your perception and allow you to trust yourself and others more.

Also, realize that you on some level have trust for other people. Even if you’re the type of person to go out, you at least trust the landlord or owner of the home you live in. If you’re homeless, you trust that others will give you money or food. Or, you trust law enforcement to take care of any crimes going on in your neighborhood.

Try examining what your level of trust is. Do you trust your parents, your siblings, the supermarket cashier, your old friends, your new companions, your dog, your religion, etc. on some level? I’m willing to bet that you on some level already trust people. Beyond that, you can build more blocks of trust. Start up conversations. Explore places with new or old friends. Learn how to open up more and be yourself.

The Importance of Small Talk

There are some people who do not enjoy small talk. However, it can be a good way of getting to know someone without making them feel uncomfortable. Some people have a hard time communicating with others, and so they are reserved and quiet. Small talk is way to get them to speak up and get out of their shell.

What are some good ways to start a conversation? It depends on the person, but generally, you would start off by asking for their name. Then, you can ask questions like where are they from, what do they do, and what do they enjoy.

After you build a basic foundation of understanding what that person is like, you can delve into deeper discussions through common interests.

If you find that you are completely different from the person you are talking with, you can either try understanding their lifestyle and getting to know them more (spark with new ideas), or you can choose to politely walk away and continue small talking with others to find the person that shares the same ideology as you. Small talk is also a way for people coping with social anxiety to meet new people.

Some people do not mind getting into deep discussions. However, sometimes it’s good to start off with the surface level of communication. Deep discussions can overwhelm some people. Plus, some people prefer taking their time to get to know a person, possibly because they feel guarded.

Are you the type of person who enjoys small talk or deep discussions when you first meet a person? Comment down below.

How to Set Up Boundaries for Yourself

People have all sorts of different boundaries. According to a handout from Wellness Reproductions, people who have healthy boundaries know how to set up limits and know what they will allow others to do or not to do. People with unhealthy boundaries have trouble trusting people and have poorly defined limitations.

A way for you to figure out what your boundaries and limitations are is to first figure out what you do and do not like. For example, some people are serious and do not like to joke around. Others do not like being told what to do.

The way in which we can develop healthy boundaries is to be clear about what it is that you will or will not accept. Once you figure out what those boundaries are, you should stand up for those boundaries and values that you are aligned with.

Some people prefer to be left alone, and others prefer to seek help from others. And during the course of our lifetime, some people prefer privacy and may later change to seeking help, and vice versa. When you feel as if your boundary is being pushed, you should speak up for yourself and say no. There is nothing wrong with saying no to another person, and you shouldn’t feel as if you cannot decline a request.

Personally for myself, nowadays, I like spending a lot of time alone (personal privacy). But other times, I like socializing with friends. I haven’t been able to do that much lately as my life became kind of hectic and busy, but I would like to reconnect with some of my friends and family again.

It can be difficult to set up boundaries at first, but over time, you can figure out how to set up those boundaries. Make sure those boundaries are clearly defined. For example, if you do not like being touched by other people, you should speak up for yourself and say, “Don’t touch me”, or “Keep your hands off me.”

You also should be careful about the people you associate yourself with. Some people are selfish and greedy, and some others are truly selfless. But if you can find those people who know how to balance being selfish and selfless, you’ve found something special.

One boundary I set up for myself is, “Don’t touch me”, unless I am comfortable with you. The second way that I set up a boundary for myself is to tell people no and ask them to leave me alone when I feel uncomfortable.

Everyone has various triggers and responses. So, you must learn how to accept other people’s boundaries as well. You cannot be that selfish and just consider yourself. You have to consider what others want too. And of course, you have to be careful and learn how to trust.

Another way you can set up boundaries is to limit your interactions with certain people. For example, you may set a schedule so that you do not have to receive phone calls past a certain time (perhaps your bedtime).

And, you should learn how to respect others’ boundaries too. Some people don’t know how to do this. But, you have to continue trying and doing your best to set up boundaries for yourself.

Why Judgment is Sometimes Stupid

Judgment is stupid because it never solves anything. Some people are quick to judge others based on appearance first, and character second. Others choose character over appearance. But either way, you can learn a lot about a person based on how they act, the words they speak, and the way they look.

Some people do not take good care of themselves, and instead of looking inwards and reflecting on their actions, they take the blame and misplace it on someone else. You have to learn how to take a real good look at yourself to figure out what is wrong. In my opinion, judgment gets in the way of true love and true connection.

That being said, judgment is normal. It is what people naturally do with the power of their mind. And rather than judging people, it is better to learn how to get along and work with one another.

People can sometimes be quick to judge, and you can learn how to approach these people in a friendly matter. Or, you can choose not to associate with those kinds of people. Either way works. But, you have to be smart about it. You have to figure out who to trust. And sometimes, trusting can be difficult. But, it is possible to learn how to get along with each other.

What Karma Teaches Us About People

Karma is a confusing subject for many people. I believe in karma, because whatever you give does eventually come back. Good things happen all the time to both “good” people and “bad” people. But what makes a person “bad” or “good”?

I believe that karma works with law of attraction. Good karma always get rewarded. However, you may have to face some difficult obstacles in order to receive rewards. It’s not necessarily bad karma. It just depends on whether you faced it or not.

The same goes for people. We label people as being different categories: black, white, hispanic, Puerto Rican, Latino, Indian, poor, rich, bad, good, wealthy, and so forth. But we have to learn how to get along with each other, because what comes around goes and around. And the quicker you catch onto those lessons, the faster you become rewarded.

It also depends on the person. Some people are only able to tolerate a little bit of hard work and dedication, while others learn how to excel and move as fast as lightning or thunder.

Nowadays, I consider myself an A player at resolving my own karma. I learned how to get along better with my family and how to trust my instincts more. A players are able to balance their lives very carefully as to not work with the wrong kinds of people. A players are always on a mission to better their lives in the right kinds of ways. The interesting thing about this is that anyone can call themselves an A player, so long as they have that kind of confidence in themselves.

What karma can teach us about people is that we have to be careful about the types of people we surround ourselves with. And, we must learn how to keep our minds at a calm and relaxed state at all times. We have to learn how to be balanced. There are some things in this world that are dangerous, and some things that are not. But we do not need to give into the fear. We can learn how to resonate at a higher frequency by believing in ourselves first. Take the lessons one by one and learn how to resolve them on your own.