Many times in life, we are faced with the difficult decision of whether we can trust somebody or not. Some people trust quite easily. Others are guarded and rarely trust others, securing themselves in an imagined box.
My rule is to build up trust in blocks. When you meet someone for the first time, it’s probably not a good idea to share your whole life story in one go. It’s best to get to know the person through small talk first.
Once you build a basic foundation of trust, such as the feeling of security around them and not feeling threatened in any way, you can delve into deeper levels of trust. But of course, you’ll want to start off with one layer at a time. Going too deep into conversations can feel unnatural. So start small, then build your way up.
If you connect with people who you feel comfortable having deeper conversations with, you will find it easier to trust them. You don’t have to go off sharing all sorts of secrets. But, you can maybe learn how to trust them with your own bottle of weirdness. You can learn how to be more of yourself around these people.
In return, you may receive many blessings. They might trust you with personal secrets, asking you for guidance on various topics. You may go to them to seek advice or help from time to time. It feels nice when you establish this level of trust.
When you reach this level of trust, you also want to make sure that you are contributing positively to the relationship, as to not let the other person feel burdened by how much you share with them. The other person can get overwhelmed if you for example share too many negative stories or unnecessary drama. Even I have had to wean off friendships due to hearing too much negativity. You want to make sure the exchange is balanced, not flying off the handle and leading to destruction.
You should be careful about how much you give to the person in terms of negative self talk. If you use trust as a way to express negativity, the friendship may settle and dissolve. It may not go anywhere good. So of course, you want to be mindful about what you share and what you contribute to the friendship.
When you trust someone deeply, you are more able to express your authentic self. You feel more alive in these types of relationships. It doesn’t take a toll on you. And, you can learn more about yourself through trusting others.
How easily do you trust people?