Category: Mindset

How to Overcome Regret

At some point or another, we face the dreading feeling of regret. It may have been something we said to someone, or something we’ve lost out on. Whatever the case may be, regret does not feel good even in the slightest.

The best thing we can do in these moments is to forgive ourselves for whatever the outcome may have been. We are not perfect beings, after all. We are bound to make mistakes here and there, so it is best if we own up to it and accept that we may make some poor decisions in our life.

Forgiveness may be hard at first, but it is possible for all of us to forgive our past. We have to see that there are many other possibilities our there. Perhaps you made some decisions that led to your first breakup, or your first firing of a job. But if you can just see that there are many potential mates our there or that there are many other possible jobs out there for you, you may forgive yourself sooner than later. Perhaps if you could see that your ex or your job was not the best match for you necessarily, then you could forgive yourself for things ending in an awry state.

Overcoming regret requires you to master your mindset by reframing the situation. It may require you to see that the way things ended up are not necessarily your fault. Or even if it could be your fault, it may require you to see that it may have been for the best. It may have only hindered your progress and growth.

We all experience setbacks in our life, but that does not mean that we are our setbacks. We can overcome our past by learning and growing from those experiences. We could seek a deeper meaning and understanding into our past regrets and learn how to adapt for the future. In the end, it is all about our perspective of the matter.

Don’t Compare Your Chapter 1 to Someone Else’s Chapter 20

Today, I am reminded of this quote: “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20.”

How easy is it for us to compare our lives to others’ lives? When we peek into other people’s lives, we may only see what’s good and not be aware of the bad. Or, we don’t realize the sacrifices it took to get to that point (e.g. the work it took for someone to now own a million-dollar home).

In addition to not comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty, I think it’s important to not compare your chapter twenty to your chapter one. Life is progressive. Things are always changing. As you grow older, you age and you may develop certain unhealthy conditions. Or, you experience a situation different from before that may make it more difficult (e.g. having children to raise).

The best way to live is to live in your present moment. That’s easier said than done. But basically, you focus on what’s going on in front of you now and you enjoy where you are. There’s no need to compare. There will always be people who are better off, but that does not mean that you can’t enjoy right now.

If I was constantly comparing myself to others, I wouldn’t even bother blogging perhaps, because there are always others who provide much more valuable content. Or, someone could just be a better writer than I am. But today, I am choosing to blog out of enjoyment and out of a recent goal I set for myself. If I wasn’t as good of a writer as someone else out there, does that mean I have to quit? Of course not. You only get better with practice. It’s okay to be at the level that I am at right now.

I just thought of fitness as being an area of life in which it is easy to compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty. It’s easy to see someone bench pressing 225 lbs and going, “Okay, I quit. I’m never going to get that far.” But you don’t see the work behind it, the sacrifices that were made to get there, the time and the dedication put into it. Instead, you should go at your own pace. Figure out what’s right for you whether it is taking a Zumba class or just walking on the treadmill for a few minutes. Then, gradually work up your way from there.

There’s no need to compare yourself to others. Enjoy where you are right now. The journey is more important than the destination.

The Difference Between Successful People and Mediocre People

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.” – Vince Lombardi

 

I find this quote to be true. There are different ways in which success shows up in a person’s life. It could be owning a nice home, raising two beautiful loving children, or progressing in one’s career. But either way, a lack of will can get in the way and crush a person’s success by derailing their efforts.

How does one build up willpower to crush and conquer life? For one, you may have to change your environment. Most people’s environments do not set them up for success and in fact can hinder their progress. For example, if you live with people who settle for comfort and who dissuade you from focusing on what success means to you, then you will have negative thoughts come into your mind that will inevitably hinder your growth. The same happens when you live in a chaotic environment (clutter or living in poverty-stricken areas). So the first step in building up more willpower is to first examine your environment and see if there is anything you can do to change it and foster a growth-oriented mindset.

You may also benefit from associating with people who achieved the level of success that you so wish to attain. You could join local Meetups. Or, you can start one of your own. Surrounding yourself with the people who live in the successful type of mindset increases your ability to foster a success-driven mindset as well. They say you are the average of the people you spend your time with in proportion to how long you spend your time with each person.

These days, I’ve been feeling a lack of will myself. Some ways in which I have been trying to increase my will is to, for example, take Zumba group classes. When I see how hard the instructor is working and how other people are doing in the class, it makes me want to increase my efforts and try my best as well. It’s a good way for me to improve my physical wellness when alone, I would probably just watch YouTube dance videos without getting up and trying it for myself.

I find that a lack of knowledge is not necessarily a barrier for success. The most successful people in history in terms of monetary wealth are not the smartest or brightest people, but those who have been able to utilize other people’s intelligence or knowledge to create products or services of great value to society. They’ve learned that they don’t have to know it all to make it. The entrepreneurial mindset is that even if you don’t know how to do it, someone will, and so you can outsource those abilities to help you succeed in whatever it is you wish to do.

I don’t consider myself a good singer because my technique is off and I haven’t had proper vocal training. So what do I do when singing songs? I use technology (such as  the effects on GarageBand) to improve it. It takes my mediocre voice to the next level. So rather than giving up and saying that I’m not talented enough, I find a way to make it work and make my songs or covers sound nice.

Lack of strength does not matter either when it comes to success. There have been people who are blind or deaf (e.g. Helen Keller) or crippled who have turned their lives into success stories. “I’m not strong enough” just becomes a feeble excuse. And if you believe that you can’t, you won’t. Just as much as if you believe you can, you will. It is all a matter of perception. After all, you are what you feed your mind.

So there you have it, a wise quote on the difference between a successful person and others. It is all in how you develop your mindset. If you find that you have many negative thoughts hindering your success, it may be time for you to re-examine your thoughts and remove those limiting beliefs that are standing in your way.

How to Overcome a Negative Mindset

Our minds have the tendency of thinking negatively. This is because our brains are built on survival mode. In order for us to live, our minds make conclusions based upon our experiences. Some of these conclusions are positive, such as eating food as a means of surviving. Others are negative, such as the avoidance of touching fire to prevent burns.

Our negative mindsets can be based upon conclusions that we’ve generated over several experiences. It might even just take one negative experience to create a negative perspective. But with practice, you can catch which negative ideas are actually causing you more harm than good.

Let’s say you’ve had an encounter with the opposite gender in school. You had a crush, and you decided to confess your feelings to this one person. Instead of receiving what you perceive to be a good response (acceptance), you are quickly rejected and humiliated. This experience make “scar you” for life and prevent you from seeking our romantic interests.

However, what if you could change that thought into a positive experience? What if you could perceive rejection as good, as it allows you to disassociate yourself from people who are not interested and give you a chance to move on to someone else? Of course, being rejected by your crush may not be a good feeling, but it allows you to move on and try with someone else. It removes all the ambiguity of does he/she like me or not.

The people who are greatest at overcoming negative mindsets are the ones who allow the negativity to come into their life and go just as easily. They are people who try to look at the brighter side of things. Or, they develop positive coping skills that allow them to move on from negativity. Some people go a step further by examining those negative events and learning from those experiences.

What do you do when you experience negativity? Do you wallow in it, or do you learn from it, look for the positive, and move on from it?

Is It Possible to Be Positive All the Time?

As much as we would like to be positive all the time, there comes those times when we sink down into negativity. It could happen for a number of reasons. Regardless, it’s okay to be negative at times. And although it isn’t possible to be positive 100%, we can try our best to look at the brighter side of a situation by practicing positive habits.

There are activities that lower your state of consciousness and that can cause you to sink down into negativity. For example, the 6 o’clock news may be filled with stories of bankruptcy, war, and neighborhood crime. If you watch this type of news on a daily basis, you may find yourself shifting into a fearful state of being.

Then, there are activities that boost your mindset. For example, you may find is enjoyable to attend a dance class. It’s a good way of not only self expression, but a physical and mental boost. You find it easy to focus on the positive during this kind of activity.

The easiest way into getting into a more positive mindset is to engage in hobbies and activities that boost your wellbeing. Some other activities that help you to stay positive is to listen to uplifting music, travel, and going for a walk. These activities allow you to achieve a higher state of consciousness, leaning more into principles of truth and love.

Do you find your mindset to be more positive or more negative? Comment down below and share your thoughts.

Living from Moment to Moment

“Look at the sparrows; they do not know what they will do in the next moment. Let us literally live from moment to moment.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Often times, we find ourselves dwelling in the past or ruminating into the future. We find ourselves missing out on the small details of every moment. That is because we are not fully present or aware of what is happening for us right now.

When we dwell on the past, we find ourselves comparing our present moments to the past. Sometimes, we grieve over loss. Other times, we miss old friends and good times. We sometimes wonder if we can ever go back to how our lives used to be.

When we look toward the future, we may feel anxious. We may wonder why we are not manifesting good moments into our life right now. But the truth is that if you could just tune into the present moment, you can seek true happiness and fulfillment. When you are engaged fully into what is happening now, you can set yourself up for contentment.

Being fully present in the moment may take some practice. As children, we naturally knew how to live moment from moment. However as we grow older and get caught up with responsibilities dictated by society, we forget how to enjoy the present moment fully. It does not have to be this way though. You can relearn how to live in the present moment.

What it takes to live in the moment is to be fully aware of all that’s going on around you. You don’t have to focus on every single thing, but just notice where you are at the moment. Notice different things through your senses, such as the temperature of the room or how fast your breathing is. Learn how to embrace each moment at a time.

It’s easier said than done, not to dwell in the past or worry bout the future, but it’s also very doable when you persistently day after day focus on what is going on right at the moment. When you practice being conscious or aware of each moment, you lead a more fulfilling life, savoring every moment and truly engaging into what’s happening now.

Architect of Your Own Character

“Let us not say, every man is the architect of his own fortune, but let us say, every man is the architect of his own character.” – George Dana Boardman

The cool thing about your life is that you get to choose who you want to be. Who you choose to be as a person speaks volumes. Our character allows us to experience things uniquely. It is so important to make sure that your character reflects who you truly want to be in this world.

I was just watching a video by Anna Akana talking about bumping into a random stranger who reacted badly. Rather than reciprocating with anger, Anna responded gently and asked, “Are you okay?” Then the stranger replied that she was sorry and that she was having a hard time because her father had passed away. Turns out Anna Akana faced a similar situation with her sister. So, the two enjoyed a deeper connection with each other just from the fact that Anna chose to respond with kindness rather than anger.

How we choose to respond or react in various scenarios is an integral part of our character. If you wish to live a more fulfilling lifestyle, you may choose to identify with values such as truth or love. That way, you can make the best of any type of scenario. We don’t know how other people really are until we choose to identify with kindness or compassion even through seemingly difficult times.

I like the idea of being your own architect of your own character. Rather than focusing on the superficial and giving into pure materialism, we can look within ourselves and learn how to be four-dimensional beings. That is, learn how to resonate at a higher frequency or higher state of consciousness. Then, enjoy more pleasant experiences, even changing negative events to good ones. The true test of character is to overcome the negative that comes along the way. Don’t you agree?

By the way, if you have the type of personality that reacts badly to any situation, it is totally possible to change your ways and to become a more positive or pleasant person. You can recreate new personality types and identify with different values. It takes some conscious effort to change in the beginning, but it is possible. For example, you can go from being a shy person to being the life of the party at social gatherings just by practicing talking in front of a mirror or by attending Toastmasters and getting used to speaking in front of an audience. Remember, personalities are moldable. And if you so choose to pick good habits over bad ones, all it takes is some upfront work, perhaps shedding old beliefs and accepting more empowering beliefs.

Is there a part of your character that you would like to change? If so, how would you go about changing it? Feel free to share in the comments.

The Illusion of Perfection

Sometimes when we try to achieve a certain goal, we get caught up in making it perfect. We expect there to be a linear path to success. But in reality, there is no true linear path to longterm goals. We can expect there to be curves or obstacles along the way. And, it is up to us to navigate through those unexpected roadblocks.

In order to achieve something perfect, we’d be expending a lot of time and energy into achieving that state of perfection. But sometimes, it’s worth it just to execute your actions and to keep treading on. For example, I don’t always have a perfect idea for what I want to blog about. I don’t even know how the blog post will end up until it’s actually finished. However, I can try my best to come up with a topic and write about it, seeing where it leads me. Either way, since my intention is to help others, it will show through my consistent effort of writing and posting regularly.

In reality, nothing is 100% perfect. There will always be an edge that we could correct. This happens to me when I’m songwriting or producing a cover on a song. The vocals might not be 100% how I want it to sound. Or, the instrumental track may be imperfect. But if I try my best and set aside a certain amount of time to get it done, it usually ends up sounding pretty decent. Well, at least my subscribers enjoy it. Plus not only that, but I also find myself improving for the next time I produce or create a song.

We have to come to terms with life not being perfect. We have to take not only the “good”, but the unwanted (or “bad”). We have to live in balance and understand that perfection is merely an illusion. There is no such thing as a life that is 100% perfect. Try to find someone who has a perfect life. You’ll hear of no such thing.

What we can do is learn to accept that life is not 100% perfect. We can strive to live out best lives every day, minus the negative feelings. Or we can accept those negative feelings too and learn how to do our best anyway, despite the setbacks. Learn the lessons behind every negative event that shows up. This is how life is, and it’s up to your how you create your reality. Just realize that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way, because either way you are learning and growing. That’s as close to perfect as we can get.

Get Out of Your Head

Sometimes, we become self-absorbed in our own thoughts. It is good to be mindful and to practice conscious thinking. But sometimes, we have to pull away from our thoughts in order to live in the present. Too much overthinking can create unnecessary anxiety or anticipation for the future.

In order to get out of our own heads, we can practice positive coping skills to ground us in the moment. Some examples of these are focusing on your breath, listening to a guided meditation, or even going out for a nice walk. Engaging in these positive coping skills can allow you to manage your stress and to stop overanalyzing your thoughts or yourself. There are other ways to get out of your own head such as through exercise, yoga, listening to music, or taking a warm shower. So generally, practicing self-care can help us to overcome these hurdles.

When our minds project too much into the future or ruminate over and over again into the past, we feel unsettled and unsatisfied. But if we learn how to enjoy things in the present moment, we can learn how to let go and enjoy life. We can learn how to overcome each hurdle one step at a time. Just as Will Smith mentioned one time in an interview, he said that you don’t set out to build a grand wall; you learn to lay one brick at a time as perfectly as you can. When we focus on taking small steps, we can eventually build those steps into something greater, to running a full marathon, either figuratively or actually if you are into running marathons. (;

Another great coping skill to getting out of your head is to journal or blog. Write your feelings out. Maybe write a poem, or compose a whole song. That’s what I do with my music. Learn how to express yourself in constructive ways.

If you feel as if you’re life is completely overwhelming, you may want to start by first addressing your health. Make sure that your basic needs such as food, water, and shelter are taken care of. And, learn how to keep those needs satisfied on a daily basis.

Then once you have had your basic needs met, you can look to fulfilling your higher needs. I would say that once your basic needs are covered, you can jump straight to self-actualization. What is your bigger purpose in life? Is it to be an inspiration to others? Is it to express yourself with your music? Is it to cook food for people?

What activities do you enjoy engaging in that can contribute value to society? This is a hard question for people to answer right away, especially if you’ve been forced to engage in different subjects or topics that were not in alignment with your own interests. Plus, we have a hard time thinking creatively of such activities that seem like they would make no money when in actuality, there is a way to make money from any type of skill. But less on the money aspect, what are some activities that you can engage in right now that will aid you in lowering your stress and increase enjoyment in your life? Because ultimately, you deserve to enjoy your life and to be happy.

So to reiterate, it is best to engage in activities of self-care until you can find a purpose in life that drives you to excel in every area of your life. Some ways in which I engage in self-care is to go to the gym, take a warm shower before bedtime, get enough rest at nighttime, and to listen to uplifting or upbeat music. I also like to dress up in the morning so that I feel more awake or more purposeful to start my da. Maybe you can start off with engaging in one of these activities too. Make it a goal to instill one good habit every day for a week. Once you achieve that, add onto that by setting another habitual goal. Then once that week passes successfully with no breaks of those habits, set another daily habit. Keep going until soon, you have a chain of good habits to keep you going.

If you’re just tired of the same old routine from day to day, maybe it’s just time for you to try something new. For example, you could go for a walk in a different part of town. Or, you could try dining at a new restaurant. Read a new book. Watch a new movie. Sign up for a dance class. Try something different and see how it affects your emotional state of being.

The best way to stay out of your head is to take constructive action. Try your best to relax and get into a calm state of being. Then, engage in activities that get you going in a positive direction. But just in case you are feeling aggressive or nervous or anxious, it may benefit you to sign up to, for example, a martial arts class. Release your pent up frustration through constructive movements.

It takes time and practice to learn how to get out of your own head. However, it is not impossible. It’s important that you realize that your thoughts are just thoughts. They do not always contain the full truth, as our minds are always seeking for answers. We cannot possibly know the answer to every question. But if we just try our best every day, we can go a long way into the path of happiness, learning how to deal with our mindsets and making the best out of it as we can.

Experience Every Emotion

Often times when we look up to successful people, we forget that those people have dealt with struggle or negativity of their own. We look to these people as being lucky or fortunate. But nowadays, we are experiencing a more level playing field. Technology tells us that we are just making excuses if we only try and not do. And everyone, regardless of race, gender, or religion can learn to overcome their failures and mistakes, and their emotions.

Our emotions can serve as a compass or guide. Emotions are a part of everyday existence. If we did not have them, then we would experience a dull life. Maybe, we may not even feel as if we are living with no emotions.

Successful people take the negativity and transform it into some good. For example, if someone was feeling tired all the time, it would be a sign that this person should relax more and maybe get some more rest. Or, they can change up their diet to see if it helps. If someone were in the mindset of “I can’t do this anymore”, they would succumb to laziness for a long period of time, perhaps never addressing the root cause of the problem of tiredness.

Negativity can be a guide for us to try something different. It may be as simple as decluttering your environment to something as complicated as changing your whole career path. Rather than letting the negativity get you down, it’s more important to learn how to deal with these negative emotions.

One of the best ways to deal with negativity is to remove limiting beliefs about yourself or about the world. Eliminating a negative belief can help you to foster more positive thoughts. Though at the same time, you want to acknowledge real threats and dangers (e.g. it might not be a good idea to stick your hand in a fire, but it can be rewarding to enroll in a new yoga class for your health even if you feeling social anxiety).

The best way to live through every emotion is to just let it be. Experience all the emotions and try to process your thoughts through methods such as listening to guided meditations. Or, you can use a creative outlet such as blogging, journalling, or even songwriting.

Sometimes, we struggle with dealing with changes in our life. In these situations, we may feel the need to vent out our frustrations with loved or trusted ones. Or, it could be a sign that you should relax and take a breather. Perhaps life doesn’t have to seem so bad once you realize that you have clothes, you have shelter, and you have food. Some people can’t even say that much. So once you understand that perspective, suddenly everything isn’t as bad as it once appeared.

Even the most happiest or positive person you come by may experience negative emotions. What separates “positive” people from “negative” people is how they deal with their emotions. Are you navigating life through destruction (giving in to negativity) or through construction (i.e. writing your feelings out)?