Category: Confidence

How to Stand Up for Yourself

You are responsible for your own life. That means that whatever happens to you, you have to be there for yourself. This can be a hard concept for some people because they’ve felt like they’ve been bullied or told what to do many times. But, you have to realize that no one can be there 100% except for yourself.

When someone makes snide remarks about me, I choose to ignore it and find other people to engage with. This can be difficult to do if it is people in your own living situation (e.g. your parents, your spouse, your siblings, your roommates, etc.) who are bringing you down. But every day, if you stand up for yourself and your values, these people will change and maybe even support you once they understand the wrong that they are doing.

As a vegan, I am always faced with questions from other people who do not approve of my vegan lifestyle. I choose it because it is the more ethical and healthy path for me. And when people question my food choices, I just say, “Hey, this is my life. I choose to be vegan. If you want to eat something else, go ahead. But, this is how I choose to live my life.”

Another criticism I receive is not settling for a job and choosing to go the entrepreneurial path. To those people stuck in the scarcity mindset of money, thinking that a job is the only way out, I let them know, “Hey, I’m taking care of my own finances. What is it to you?”

You can always stand up for yourself using your own power through your own words. Of course, you don’t always have to be rude about it. You can simply let the other person know that you are living the life you choose to live, and that it’s none of their concern about how you choose to live.

It’s a little trickier if you live with family. They might be trying to help, but they might not know the best way to help. So, you have to be confident in whatever path you choose to follow.

You can also use some humor to deflect back the negative criticism. My mother used to always tell me that I should get married. I’m nowhere near ready to get married, and I get tired of hearing her say that. But all I do is joke around with a smile and say, “Married? What is that? I’m never getting married.” That usually gets her to stay questioning me about my relationship status, haha. πŸ˜€

Often times, it’s best to avoid arguments. If you’re living with people who are expecting you to get a job when you’d prefer to start a business, it may be a good idea to move out. Or, find a job temporarily and save up before moving out. It’s up to you. It can be a bit scary to become independent, but that is part of taking charge of your life and being there for yourself. (;

Yes I Can

What does it mean to be empowered? It means having a “I can do anything!” attitude. It means chasing after your dreams without any regrets, explanations, or excuses.

@lewishowes #GreatnessChallenge #Day4 This quote has been part of my desktop wallpaper since university. ? It has reminded me to always live in the moment. Whenever I have doubts about what I am doing, this quote brings me back to who I am and what I want to achieve in this world. So long as I know that I am going down the right path, so long as I am aware of the potential outcomes of my decisions, then that is the best that I can do. ? And even when I have made some unwise decisions in the past, I know that it has helped me to grow as an individual. It has helped me to gain valuable life lessons. So for that, I wouldn't trade my path for anything else in this world. No excuses, no explanations, no regrets. ?

A post shared by ? Nessy λ„€μ‹œ ? (@nessyonthego) on

According to Helen Keller, “We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough.” I believe everyone has the potential to be anything they want or to do anything they want. So long as you learn how to get along with others and not harm people in the process, you can achieve any dream.

Some people don’t know what their real dreams are. For me, I didn’t know what my dreams were. They always changed. When I was younger, I wanted to become a pediatrician. But later, I said I wanted to be a singer. And then later, I change my mind to computer science. And then again, I wanted to learn mathematics, and then music, and now, I’m still a bit confused about which subject I would like to pursue first.

Music was fun to create and was a good outlet for me to express my emotions. But nowadays, I like to blog, read, and write. Maybe later, I would like to pursue music again. It’s somewhat challenging to be a solopreneur, creating your own beats, writing your own music, uploading videos on your own YouTube channels, and blogging on the side. But, it is doable for any person who hustles hard and has that “I can do anything” mentality.

In order to achieve this state of mind, you must first accept responsibility for your mistakes. And second, learn how to live your own life. No regrets, no explanations, and no excuses. Go full on, and ask for help on the side if and when you need it. And try not to let negativity get in the way.

I’m reminded of something Will Smith once said in one of his interviews. If you have a dream, you have to hold onto it. For example, if you’re passionate about bowling, you should pursue it rather than working somewhere that you don’t like. I agree with him wholeheartedly. You should do the things that you enjoy, and learn how to create a lifestyle around those dreams. It can be confusing to figure out at first, but the more you try, the easier it becomes.

How to Be a True Hustler

Hustling takes hard work and dedication, but it can be achieved. It’s easy to get caught up in distractions, but you have to learn how to ignore the distractions and to focus. It takes time to learn how to focus too. Focus can be hard to some people, but for me, it now becomes natural.

My schooling experience has been a little weird. I love learning. However, I enjoy having the freedom to learn things at my own pace. That is how I learned about programming, mathematics, music, and so forth and so on. I have many subjects that I am interested in learning about. So I just try learning everything one day at a time.

I used to have trouble concentrating on my life, but I know how to do it very well now. And I know how to take care of myself in a proper way. It takes practice, but it’s possible to be balanced and to learn how to achieve your dreams.

Hustling takes hard work. You have to practice good self-care, which means you have to be hygienic and take care of your immediate needs first (such as water, food, clothes, and shelter). And on top of that, you have to work in a calm and relaxed manner so that you can manifest good things into your life.

You can start slowly by goal-setting first. Identify a goal for each day one at a time, and then go week by week, and then by month to month and so forth. Or if that is too hard, go at it one second or minute at a time. Start from where you are. Go at your own pace. And learn how to get along with other people by using your communication skills.

Goal-setting is a little difficult for some people, so I will briefly explain how you can set goals. First, start with a journal or a planner. Journal out your thoughts to figure out what’s most important to you. And use a planner to jot down quick checklists for what you want to accomplish during the day. This is how you start small.

Then after that, you can move on to higher forms of planning such as mapping out your future plans (week by week, month by month, year by year, and possibly even further than that). Try imagining talking to a younger version of yourself first to figure out what needs to be accomplished.

I hope that this article was helpful. And if you’re still interested in figuring out how to live as a hustler, try checking out my other articles such as How to Surround Yourself with A Players and The People You Surround Yourself With.

What’s Wrong With Being Confident?

Confidence is a positive emotion. Having true confidence is learning how to be a strong human being. It means to stop playing games with your life and to live it to the fullest potential. Below is a song that I like to listen to in order to help boost my confidence.

I like being confident because it allows me to excel in my life. I know it’s hard to not give up at times, but you have to be the controller of your own life. And you have to learn how to chase after your dreams. That means, no messing around. Take control and create your own destiny.

Confidence is the ability to ignore distractions while maintaining a higher level of consciousness. There are many ways to improve your self-confidence, and one of those ways is to continually practice self-care and compassion.

It can sometimes be difficult to be confident. So what you need to do first is to look into yourself (inwards) and to figure out where this negativity is coming from. The second is to overcome the negativity and the fears by living out your life and living out your dreams.

What Karma Teaches Us About People

Karma is a confusing subject for many people. I believe in karma, because whatever you give does eventually come back. Good things happen all the time to both “good” people and “bad” people. But what makes a person “bad” or “good”?

I believe that karma works with law of attraction. Good karma always get rewarded. However, you may have to face some difficult obstacles in order to receive rewards. It’s not necessarily bad karma. It just depends on whether you faced it or not.

The same goes for people. We label people as being different categories: black, white, hispanic, Puerto Rican, Latino, Indian, poor, rich, bad, good, wealthy, and so forth. But we have to learn how to get along with each other, because what comes around goes and around. And the quicker you catch onto those lessons, the faster you become rewarded.

It also depends on the person. Some people are only able to tolerate a little bit of hard work and dedication, while others learn how to excel and move as fast as lightning or thunder.

Nowadays, I consider myself an A player at resolving my own karma. I learned how to get along better with my family and how to trust my instincts more. A players are able to balance their lives very carefully as to not work with the wrong kinds of people. A players are always on a mission to better their lives in the right kinds of ways. The interesting thing about this is that anyone can call themselves an A player, so long as they have that kind of confidence in themselves.

What karma can teach us about people is that we have to be careful about the types of people we surround ourselves with. And, we must learn how to keep our minds at a calm and relaxed state at all times. We have to learn how to be balanced. There are some things in this world that are dangerous, and some things that are not. But we do not need to give into the fear. We can learn how to resonate at a higher frequency by believing in ourselves first. Take the lessons one by one and learn how to resolve them on your own.

Why Do People Like Bullying?

Bullying never solves anything. It is a way for people to escape their true feelings. When you bully people, you lower your state of consciousness and awareness. You have to be careful about how you use your words and how you treat other people.

Personally, I don’t pay attention to negativity. I don’t get caught up in the news or in political affairs. The reason is because some people are irrational and use violence as a way to resolve problems. But violence is not the answer. Peace is. You have to learn how to take care of yourself first, and then give back to other people.

Sometimes, bullying can be a confusing topic. Sometimes, people bully people because they like those people. Sometimes, they are trying to just have fun. Sometimes, bullying and joking around can seem similar. The best way to approach bullying is to just ignore it and to joke around back with it. Make fun of yourself first, and try not to let those words affect you.

The best way to deal with bullying is to be nice and gentle. Bullying just means that someone else has insecurities. It can be difficult to accept your flaws and insecurities, but if you do, you will find yourself attracting more people into your life, and these people will be your true friends.

I do not stand for bullying because it is not the correct answer. Bullies sometimes do not know what they are doing. All you have to do is stand up for yourself in a calm and relaxed manner, or you can choose to ignore them.

Saying No or Politely Declining a Request

It can be difficult to assert your power, but we all have the ability to decline an invitation or request. All we have to do is say no. In certain situations, we may have to go as far as ignoring a request, though it is not always necessary. With a little practice, you can learn how to assert your power again.

When someone asks you to do something and you don’t want to accept that request, just say no. You can say is with respect. In other cases, you might have to do a little more than just saying no. But, don’t feel the need to give a long explanation or reason as to why you said no. Just saying no is enough sometimes. You may have to repeatedly say no, or ignore the person. Either way, your request should be granted. You shouldn’t feel bad about saying no too.

A good rule of thumb is to keep it as brief as possible. You can be polite and say, “Thank you for asking.” You can apologize if you want to, but otherwise, try not to apologize when saying no. Every person has the right to say no.

Some people feel bad about saying no because they are kind, considerate people. But sometimes, you have to take the initiative to say no. You shouldn’t feel as if someone is taking advantage of you.

What it Means to be Authoritative

Authority has a negative connotation. However, authority is an important aspect of one’s life. For example, when you make decisions, you want to make sure that you exert your power and are authoritative.

Leaders are often thought of being authoritative. But, you too can be the authority of your own life. All you have to do is take action. And of course, you want to make sure you have some forethought to those actions.

When you are authoritative, you exert power. You want to yield that power with confidence and careful decision-making. You don’t want to misuse your power for evil. Some people try to exert power over others and abuse them, but this is not aligned with truth. It is cowardly to misuse your power.

Being a true authoritative person requires truth. It means making decisions that feel aligned. It feels like being the powerful creator of your life. And, it doesn’t take that much time to practice. All you have to do is decide what you want and go after it with the alignment of truth.

How to Surround Yourself with “A” Players

“It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks.”

George Eliot

An A player is someone who excels at life. It is someone who conquers most or all areas of their life, from health to finances to relationships to spirituality. Such people that I would define as A players are Ramit Sethi, Steve Pavlina, Leo Babauta, Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith, and Kim Yugyeom. πŸ˜€ I am always looking to surround myself with A players because as they say, you become the people you surround yourself with.
How can you find ways to surround yourself with A players? The first is just to engage yourself in activities that you enjoy and that you would look for in people who you would consider A players. You don’t necessarily have to engage with these people directly. For example, I go to the gym to get a workout and see people there who are motivated, pumped, and athletic. I don’t converse with these people aside from maybe the instructor and maybe someone taking the same class if the opportunity presents itself. But still, I am motivated to work out because I see other people doing the same. And in my mind, an A player consists of someone who cares about their wellbeing and health. So in my mind, anyone who hits the gym regularly is an A player in health.

Another way that I plan to surround myself with A players is to attend a dance class. I love dancers because they are very expressive with their moves and they also tend to care about health, appearance, and hygiene. So one way I can surround myself with these people is to attend a local dance meetup such as through Meetup or EventBrite. Or I can take dance classes through an academy and search for it on YelpΒ or Yellow Pages. I’m planning to attend these classes sometime in the beginning of March. It should be fun!

I also find entrepreneurs and business-minded people to be A players. I want to pursue passive income and have dabbled a bit here and there, and it’s motivating to be in connection with people who have succeeded in generating a significant amount of passive income such as thousands of dollars per month. There are some meetup groups as well, but I’m planning to start with Toastmasters to connect with these people. Toastmasters draws in people of all sorts of backgrounds and statuses, but I’m planning to connect with those business-oriented people who also enjoy life and like to socialize. It’s also a great way to practice public speaking. And someday, it’s my goal to give a Ted Talk. That takes A player motivation and drive to do.

How can you develop an A player mindset?

The first step is to be ruthless about what you want. Sometimes, developing an A player mindset requires you to cut out certain friendships and social connections. This can be because certain friendships and acquaintances can drain your energy and bring you to a lower mind of awareness. For example, if you want to quit smoking, it’s counter-intuitive to hang out with people who smoke a lot. You’re just going to be tempted to smoke again. And sometimes, it can seem cruel to cut off or wean off from these friendships. But if you really want to succeed at life, you sometimes have to burn the ships and be selfish about what you want. There’s nothing wrong with change. It’s just in your mind as mild discomfort. Sometimes, you can naturally stop hanging around average people by just hanging around A players some more. And the more you expose yourself to A players, the more your mindset improves, and the more you naturally drift to these A players and stop hanging around average people.

A simple exercise you can do in order to figure out what an A player means to you is to list the qualities of your ideal type or of what you want to be. Here is a sample list of qualities that I personally seek for in an A player:

– Vegan
– Six figures or more
– Clean shaven and fashionable appearance
– Artistically talented
– Confident at giving speeches
– Good at cooking vegan
– Fit or athletic
– Leader

Note that you don’t need to find all the qualities in a person. It’s possible to find someone who only have a few of these qualities and is still an A player. But the more qualities a person has close to your ideal type, the better it is. And of course, the more naturally drawn you will be to that person. Plus looking at your list, you will feel more compelled to cut off draining friendships and relationships.

The Courage to Be an A Player

Becoming an A player takes courage. It means destroying old habits and replacing them with healthier and more fulfilling habits. It means eliminating old baggage. It means reinventing yourself. It means dedicating every single day to bettering yourself and becoming your highest potential.

It can be hard at first to become an A player because we can get stuck in old routines and rely on what’s comfortable. A players are A players because they know how to conquer life and how to lean into discomfort. The majority of people avoid discomfort and soak in short-term pleasures of life. But A players delay gratification and shoot for the stars. It’s not an easy task to be an A player when you’re shooting so high every day, but that’s what makes them exceptional. And you are also exceptional. You also have untapped potential. And if you want to be a superstar, you can be that superstar. All you have to do is believe in yourself and to lean into that discomfort and give it a try.

For me, it’s going to be uncomfortable attending my first Toastmasters session. However, I know that I will benefit from it in the long run. I will become a better public speaker and I will socialize more with people I want to surround myself with, which are leaders. One way in which I will prepare myself to go is to practice self-care (my appearance) and to prepare business cards to introduce myself. The business cards give a simple introduction of myself being vegan and into personal growth, being a voice talent and songwriter, and my blog, Instagram and Youtube links. It’s a good way for me to ease my nerves just in case I’m at a loss for words and want to introduce myself in a more relaxed manner. Plus, it’s more professional.

If you want to learn how to overcome your fear in order to become an A player, you have to either remove limiting beliefs of yourself or learn how to lean into the fear. You have to get used to your heart racing at times, and you have to learn how to not avoid it. It’s okay to be afraid to connect with someone new. It’s okay to be nervous about attending your first dance class. But, realize that it’s not going to kill you to try something new. It’s part of the excitement. This is what A players do every day. They venture off into new directions, tackling their fears and accomplishing new feats. And this can be you too. Why settle for comfort when you can lead a exceptional life?

Dealing with Fear

Fear is normal. We can have a fear about anything. But what separates a fearful person from a confident person is the ability to see things from a different perspective, to lean into that fear and to understand that there is nothing to really be afraid of. At the same time, fear is sometimes necessary. Fear can be a way to protect ourselves from danger.

Some people like to use techniques such as rational-emotive behavioral therapy to overcome limiting beliefs to help eliminate fear. Others like to avoid fears all together, settling instead for a cozy and comfortable life. But some champions like to challenge fears, such as challenging a fear of heights through sky-diving.

I use a combination of rational-emotive behavioral therapy and challenging fears. When I can help it, I like to eliminate the fear altogether. But when I can’t, I like to lean into the fear and discover what it’s all really about.

How do you deal with fear? Comment down below.